Imagine growing up as a child in a community where there are few children under the age of sixteen, and even fewer older than four. Imagine being taught to run and hide every time a car drives into the community. Imagine losing your older siblings for at least ten months of every year to the far off residential school and when they return they are forever changed.
Imagine being a mother or father and knowing that one by one, each of your children will be taken from you to be raised in a culture that is not your own. Imagine how it feels to know that when your child returns he or she looks at you with shame, and very often contempt. Imagine travelling to these far off residential schools to visit your children and your visit is supervised by teachers and other school staff. Imagine as your feelings as year by year your children grow farther and farther away from you until they are unrecognizable.
Imagine being a student in one of these schools being taken away from the family and culture that you were raised in, and placed in a foreign environment where your hair is cut, your clothing is taken away and you are no longer allowed to speak your language. Imagine being told that you are no good, that your culture is backward, you are nothing more than a little heathen. Imagine being told that everything that you have been taught by your family is wrong and evil. Imagine being segregated from siblings by age and sex and being told that you can no longer play together. Most of all imagine crying alone at night for everything that you have lost and no one comes to comfort you even though your siblings are in the same school.
This was the reality for generations of First Nations people. It has been an experience that has not only changed those who attended these schools but the structure of First Nations society forever. Some of these differences include:
- Euro-Canadian concepts of discipline were foreign to First Nations people
- Parents were often reluctant to part with their children and were coerced to surrender their children by government policy and officials
- Diet and regieme often adversely affected the health of students
- foreign teachings sexualized all relationships
- many children were subjected to a variety of abuses including physical, sexual and emotional abuse
- illness among the children was often under reported and often was not treated, resulting in death and long term disability for many students.
For the survivors of these schools some of the losses they experienced are:
- loss of language and culture
- loss of connections to family and community
- loss of cultural identity
- loss of parenting skills
However, the hardest loss to deal with was the loss of self-esteem. For many of these students being told that they were no good, and had to change to fit into the Canadian mosaic meant a childhood governed by shame and fear. Shame for self, fear of their culture and sprituality, being ashamed of being First Nation. As a result, much of First Nation traditional knowledge have either been driven underground or been forgotten further alienating First Nations people from their culture and heritage.
In order to deal with the after effects of the residential school, many of these survivors turned to drugs and alcohol to deal with the pain. For many this then subjected their children to further harm and impacts further normalizing the abnormal. In the long term alcoholism and drug abuse, physical, spousal and sexual abuse, isolation and family dysfunction has become the norm in many First Nations communities.
For the children of these survivors, this is the reality that many grew up with. A contemporary society that is far removed from the cultural norms of traditional First Nation society. Today many survivors and their families are once again seeking out the teachings of their ancestors and seeking healing through the traditional ceremonies to overcome the shame and other impacts that are the dark legacies of these schools. First Nations people are seeking ways to break the cycle of abuse that has become so ingrained in many homes. They are breaking the silence and recognizing the long term effects of the residential school system, and for many the only way to move forward is by acknowledging the past with dignity.
Although the Government of Canada and the Churches have to some extent acknowledged the role that they played in the dark chapter of Canadian history, for many understanding the long-term effects is still difficult. Many First Nations people believe that it is only by allowing First Nations people to take their true place in the Canadian mosaic as equals and by returning to the traditional teachings can this be accomplished. It is only through healing of individuals and community can the legacy and cycle of abuse be broken.
